I Am Not Afraid

As some of you know, my husband, Neil Dover is the musician that wrote and performed the song Little Lamb* that plays on the map page of sidhe-seersinc.com. He recently finished two more songs for The Fever World, one of which I'm posting here. (The other you'll see soon, in Mac vs. the Shades, which I hope to blog about in the next few days.)

In the meantime, here's I Am Not Afraid*, a song that I feel captures Mac's anger, grief and determination to survive brilliantly. Hope you all love it as much as I do!

I Am Not Afraid
by Neil Dover
inspired by KMM's FEVER series

*© Neil Dover

Cover sketch for FAEFEVER!

It finally came in. This is the sketch, the finished copy may be slightly different. Isn't it gorgeous?

A while back I stumbled across a drawing of V'lane from the Fever series by the wonderfully talented Lesya. I was struck by both her talent and how closely her vision mirrored mine, so I contacted her and commissioned a set of pictures depicting Mac's world.

She recently completed the first in the series, brilliantly detailing a scene in a Dublin alley. I think it's lush, evocative, eerie and simply gorgeous. "Choices" depicts Mac 1.0, from Darkfever, sweet, southern and blonde. Mac 2.0 from Bloodfever is up next. I'll be posting all of the pictures from this series at my website in the near future, with links to more about Lesya and her fabulous drawings. (They're copyrighted to KMM, LLC. Because I think the detail of her drawings is so wonderful, I'm posting a very high resolution image. I want you to feel free to download and enjoy, but please respect the copyright and the artist's signature, i.e. don't remove them from the picture.)

I know I've been promising you all an exciting announcement for some time now, and I have to be honest--it's been killing me to sit on it for two months--but it really is coming soon.

In the meantime, stay tuned this week for several seriously cool things to be unveiled at the Sidhe-Seers, Inc. website. We've got a fabulous new song for you, the cover sketch for Faefever is in and I'm crazy about it, and a special project we've been working on since last October will finally be ready to launch, according to our website designers, this Wednesday or Thursday. It's complicated programming and we're trying to get all the bugs out first.

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers for Moonie! She came through the surgery with flying colors, and aside from getting subcu fluids and being mopey about it, she's gained a pound! That's great news for a cat with CRF.

I've been loving the pictures at the Ark on the message board. Keep them coming!

That’s Moonshadow, who the skunks adore. She was a rescue. When I got her at two months she’d been caught in a dog fight, had a severe hernia in her belly, and the intense skittishness that accompanies early trauma. The vet said she had numerous health issues and wouldn’t last a year.

I have a deep conviction that, when given half a chance, and sometimes much less, life will. It wants to be, wants to thrive. Add love to the mix and everything is possible.

Fourteen years later, The Mink as I call her (which is in no way short for The Goddess Empress, a.k.a. She Who Walks the Earth in Feline Form and Rules All) is happy as can be and looks lovely.

But all’s not well on the inside. A year ago she was diagnosed with CRF, Chronic Renal Failure. I’ve been giving her subcutaneous fluids since and, despite a risky surgical procedure during which she had six teeth removed and was under anesthesia for four hours, her CRE and BUN levels returned to the normal range for awhile.

They’re high again now, and it kills me. I long for the swift kindness of a heart attack, or maybe the cougar to come out of the woods and devour her in one bite, without pain. I know where CRF goes, how it ends, and I dread it.

Those of us who love animals see little distinction between a human spirit and an animal one. Except that I've often seen more heart and soul in a cat’s eyes, than many humans.

Call it what you will, she’s been in my life for fourteen years, making me laugh, playing, purring, a constant, loving part of my world, and one day that world will have a nine pound hole ripped in it. Are we such fools or optimists that we assume the burden of loving, when the odds are stacked against us from the beginning that we will outlive them?

Monday morning she goes in for surgery again and her blood work doesn’t look good. Any positive energy beamed her way is much appreciated!

I’ve asked Leiha to start a new room at my message board where I invite you to post pictures of your cats, dogs, birds, turtles, whatever it is you have, and tell us about them.

Here’s a cool site I visit every morning to click the purple button: The Animal Rescue Site. You can click once a day, every day, and it generates food for animals in need. There are other worthy causes there as well.

On a brighter note, I’ve confirmed two appearances this year.

April 25-April 27th I’m attending the In The Company of Writer’s Retreat in Harper’s Ferry, West Virginia, and there may be, (will confirm soon) a booksigning on Thursday, April 24th at Turn the Page Bookstore Café in Boonsboro, MD. (Nora Robert’s husband’s bookstore.)

July 30-August 2: I’ll be at RWA and will be signing at the Literacy Signing. We’ll post these at my website soon, and also remind you in monthly newsletters.

Stay tuned for the exciting news I mentioned in an earlier blog. According to my agent, it’s coming soon. I can’t wait to share it with you all!